1. Confidentiality is important.
“If I
tell you something in confidence, it’s really not ok for you to tell your best
friends. And it goes both ways.”
2. The “thrill of the chase” gets old.
“The
older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m
interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still
be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to
agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested.”
3. Trying to make guys jealous isn’t attractive.
“Mentioning
how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of ‘Oh
damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder.’ Instead it’s ‘Fuck, chasing
her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.'”
4. Problem-solving is their form of empathy.
“If you
bring us problems we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we
have listened and that we care.”
5. Hard-ons are not a guarantee.
“Just
because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not
into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.”
6. Sometimes he wants YOU to jump HIS bones.
“If you
want to have sex don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to
initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because
you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.”
7. Guys appreciate feeling pretty, too.
“Guys
like getting compliments about their appearance too, even just minor ones feel
nice.”
8. They have zero time for hints.
“Some men actually know that you are
trying to hint towards something but do not want to be embarrassed by
misinterpreting the signal. So we ignore the hint instead because who has time
for hints?”
9. Wanting to be alone isn’t a slight to you.
“Sometimes
men just like to be alone, it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you
we just like to be alone occasionally.”
10. Just take the damn compliment.
“If we
compliment you, the best thing you can say is ‘Thank you.’ A self deprecating
joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.”
11. If you say “I’m fine,” they won’t ask again.
“We can
see through the ‘I’m fine’ bullshit. But if you say it 3 times, we’re going to
let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because
we don’t care — it’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.”
12. They often stick their foot in their mouth.
“Unless
we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one
of the options is bad, we meant the good one.”
13. They aren’t being honest about your clothing
choices.
“Your
butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin’ love it.”
14. When you ask them what they’re thinking about,
the truth is usually underwhelming.
“Sometimes
we really do think about nothing.”
15. They can’t read your mind.
“If you
want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something
done your way, you fuckin’ do it. This is the price of delegation.”
16. Restaurant choices should NOT be this
difficult.
“Just
fucking pick where you want to eat. We don’t give a shit, we’re only going to
order the fucking burger anyway.”
17. Platonic relationships are possible, and they
exist.
“All men
aren’t potential cheaters. Just because your SO likes spending time with
another girl, doesn’t mean he wants her.”
18. Nothing compares to good head.
“Work on
your blowjobs. He’s already good at handjobs and will be critical of you.”
19. Acting crazy isn’t charming.
“You know
those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy,
but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work
in real life.”
20. They like to feel babied sometimes.
“When we
are sick, we really want attention.”
21. They don’t want to put you on a pedestal.
“No, I
won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking
for a life partner. My equal.”
22. Balls really are sensitive, y’all.
“It takes
very little impact force to cause tremendous pain in our testicles.”
23. Sometimes their hands get cold.
“Sometimes
we just have our hands in our pants, it’s not always sexual, it’s warm down
there.”
24. Just because they aren’t engaging with you
doesn’t mean they aren’t hanging out with you (in their minds).
“Men
spend quality time by doing things with you around…not necessarily doing things
with you.”
25. Sometimes, it really is as simple as “He’s just
not that into you.”
“If he’s
not calling, not making an effort to see you, it means he doesn’t want to.
Waiting around for him will only make you look desperate.”
26. They like being lazy with you.
“Just
because we both have the day off doesn’t mean we have to fill it with shit to
do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.”
27. Most importantly: cuddling should not be
gendered, dammit.
“Sometimes
we want to be the little spoon.”
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